Last night I was talking to my daughter about marriage, kids and choices. I realized that she does not know how I arrived at my decisions. Growing up, I could not see why people would want to get married and have kids. It seemed to me that my mother assumed the burdens and none of the benefits. However, what I know now was it was her family that gave her her joy in life. It was hard for me to see that at the time.
I think my daughter sees that in me too. I did have a career I was pursuing before the decision to have children and though I took time off to raise my family, I once again have a career. Before I met my husband I had no intention of getting married and having a family. However, for me, I met someone I wanted to share my life with and I realized he would enhance my life. To have someone to share your life, a best friend, expands your life; the trick is finding the right one.
As far as kids went, I did not really see myself as a mother either. However, it was in my husband’s plans and he was kind of a package deal. I really did not think I would be a good mother – self-sacrificing and all. However, I had a good example that I could learn from. I learned that sometimes the most unexpected things can bring you the greatest joy in life. Because I became a mother, I learned how to love unconditionally without limits, to challenge, encourage, lift up and truly expand my life. Yes, it is a choice to become a parent and not for everyone. Yes, it the hardest job there is because your heart is walking around on the outside of your body. But for me, I cannot imagine my life without them and am grateful for them everyday. I am glad I made the decision to let love in and expand my life.
